Jude turns 4!

It has come and gone, my eldest is now 4!  Jude Edgar Putnam, entered the world 2 weeks late and he likes to inform us it was because he likes to be cozy.  Apparently, he views my belly cozy.  But it is true, his favorite pants are so called "cozy pants.". We get dressed up for 2 occasions- church and our BSF bible study.  But as soon as we get in the door at home, Jude disappears upstairs to change into cozy pants.  He can't sleep without his soft blue blanket and Elphie, his stuffed elephant.

Just because Jude loves to be cozy, he is a warrior.  For the first part of this year he would growl, roar, or run over another boy because he was demonstrating "rhino power".  Being a boy and having a warrior mentality isn't bad when used with righteous intentions.  May the Lord give us wisdom on how to do that.  As a result of this little warrior, he asked to have a "KNIGHT BIRTHDAY Party.".

So we entered the 4's with a bang!  Each child was Knighted by Jonathan and given a sword.  They painted their own shield's and were sent off to slay the dragon (uncle Joel) and the dragon piñata.  It was a great time. 

I wasn't sure what to expect approaching 4.  When Jude literally turned 2 it was as if he got an injection of "independence".  My very compliant baby turned a corner at 2.  Then the day he turned 3 it was as if  he got another injection, this time very bully-like or possessive (like protecting his territory.). So I wasn't sure what was going to happen at 4!   Well, God's plan and molding for this little boy never cease to amaze me.  Jude has received a shot of Kindness, empathy and servant like heart.  I'm not kidding.

We were getting out of the van for church and Jude looks at Elijah and says, "I got my eyes on you, Eli.". Then he turns to me and says, "Mom, I got Eli covered.". That's my boy!  I am excited to see what God does this year in my boys heart and life. 

I love you Jude Edgar Putnam, your giggles, your strategic mind, your love for being home, and your love for cozy pants. 

Needing each other to grow

This past week I have been so thankful for 2 boys.  They need each other and I need them. 

In making my point, let me give you a little background on my sons.  Jude is a very clever boy, almost 4.  He is very practical and likes to plan out our days. He loves his bike and uses any toy as a weapon.  He is more serious and straight forward, meaning he has a hard time pretending.  In fact, he said to me one day at the park, "Mom, those kids keep saying this playground equipment is a rocket ship.  It's not!!!  It's a slide.".  The only thing he pretends at is a game called "sea monster" where we chase him and tickle him.

Then along comes Elijah.  He is 22 months, a climber, explorer, a snuggler and a giggle-er.  He loves boys, trucks, and being outside.  He is a second born and learns everything from Jude.  He in fact has just learned to climb out of the crib as he watched a tutorial from Jude.  He is also studying how Jude gets on his new bike.

I never could have anticipated as a parent that our kids need each other, just like I need them.  Elijah is good for Jude as he helps Jude be silly and less serious.  He helps Jude learn how to snuggle or give a hug with arms.  He helps Jude giggle.  We need Elijah.  And Jude is good for me.  He helps me grow in speaking with warmth in giving instruction, or patience in being persistent.  Jude helps me slow down and enjoy days at home. 

I need these boys and they need each other.  I just wonder if we add another to the mix how he or she will help us. 

keeping it simple

Just a few snaps of life. 

Motherhood: a season of giving and receiving

I am a mother of 2 active little boys (age 4 and 20 months).  It is a very exhausting season yet full of life, energy and chaos.  I describe it as:  sleepless nights and early mornings, whiny children and lots of giggles, spills and messes, temper tantrums and full out anger explosions, tickles and giggles, pitter Pater of feet and random Cheerios on the floor, defiant attitudes and direct disobedience, kids music and the Wild Kratts, cold coffee never finished, running, jumping, and a sigh as I sit on the couch when the kids are finally asleep with a full heart of love for them.

The days are sometimes long but the weeks fly bye.  these little people are a lot of work and yet we long to have more of them. 

This has definitely been the hardest season of my life.  Probably because these little ones require constant giving of time, love, energy, correction, more love, grace, more tickles and lots of food. 

Today I read James 1 with the scope of motherhood in mind.  It sure was encouraging.

"Consider it PURE JOY, mothers of little ones, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you my be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of. You lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

My days are full of trials. I am in need of becoming mature in complete in love, patience, forgiveness, grace.  I am in need of God.  And that is what I found here. 

Joy in my trials of motherhood because as I humble myself under His guidance He will lead me. 

What hope in this season.  My new definition of Motherhood:  A season of constant giving yet a season of Constant receiving. 

Can't believe my lil man is turnin 2!

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Love this: God has good things in store

"How does God’s grace meet you in your sufferings?" David Powlison asks in his chapter:

"We can make the right answer sound old hat, but I guarantee this: God will surprise you. He will make you stop. You will struggle. He will bring you up short. You will hurt. He will take his time. You will grow in faith and in love. He will deeply delight you. You will find the process harder than you ever imagined – and better. Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life. No matter how many times you’ve heard it, no matter how long you’ve known it, no matter how well you can say it, God’s answer will come to mean something better than you could ever imagine."

A Day with my Family

Jonathan wanted to spend the day in Chagrin Falls. It was the best day to go. The leaves were changing colors, the air was warm and at times the sun peaked through. We strolled through some beautiful streets, passed the fire station where a wife stopped in to see her husband and all were loving on a little baby. We went to the park where Jude chased some geese. We ate a a small restaurant. And of course saw the falls. One of the funniest moments of the day was while we were sitting outside at a table for lunch. Jude was very stoic. Everyone was trying to get him to smile, to no avail. But alas, Jude spotted a 4 year old girl sitting next to him through a window. Instantly, Jude started smiling, waving, and blowing kisses. We just laughed. What a great day!

Lesson Learned

Just the other day, I learned a lesson. You see I wanted to take Jude to a playground. We got in the car and started our 15 minute ride to the best playground in the area. I even told him where we were going. However, he started to get impatient. He whined. He kicked. He whined some more. He forgot that good was in store. While listening to his whining, I realized that I am just like him.

I saw this verse on my dashboard: "I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. (the Lord)"

God has good in store for me. God's intention toward me are good. His plans for me are good. His love and care for me is good. He does not change, He is always good and His ways are always good.

However, I get impatient and whine and complain. Jude, well, he didn't learn this lesson this day, he whined until he saw the playground, then he squealed. For myself, I have been pondering on this thought since then. I just wondered what things are around the corner that God wants to give me? I can rest knowing that it will be good. I hope I squeal too!

Here she is.... our new home.

We are grateful to God for giving us such a nice home, well in our eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? We have received so much help in cleaning it up, replacing old for new. We can't believe it's ours. Here are some before and after shots: Our family room went from cream to grey.

Our Kitchen went from yellow cabinets and counters to black and green-like yellow:

There are so many more pics but I am losing interest in blogging.

Your Will be done, on earth as it is Heaven.

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend about the tension of asking God in faith for something very specific yet posturing your heart that "His will be done." Well, I find myself in the middle of that tension this morning.

You see, we put an offer in on a house that to me is my dream home. It is on the very street that we have said, "we want to live on this street." It has a screened in back porch, a beautiful yard, 4 bedrooms. And the updating are things that I can do... paint, scrub and change fixtures.

So we asked for God to provide this home. After hearing the owners response to our offer, it is hard for me to imagine that this is to be our home. While praying this morning I read "Not my will be done, but yours O Lord." I am feeling the tension of knowing that God could grant us favor and mercy by giving us this home. Yet on the flip side recognizing that He is the All Seeing One. He is in control and knows what is best in working out His plan for our lives.

This is a very hard place for me to be in. The tension is revealing to see what my heart wants to cling to more: my desires and dreams or the dreams of the King of Kings. You know best, Lord.

Welcome 2011

So I haven't written on our blog in a few months. Right now I am listening to "I got better things to do" by Sharon Jones. This song really fits me when it comes to keeping up to date my emails, blogs, facebook and Jude's baby book but rest assured I am trying to be more organized this next year. I am in a grove with my 9 month old and Jonathan's non-traditional work schedule. So I have no excuses.

Today we took Jude to the YMCA. There is a foot of snow outside so I figured that since the water temperature in the Y was 88 degrees it would be warm. Not warm enough for either of us. He didn't know what to do with this new experience. He was quiet, whined a little, and perplexed. Then out of no where a ring clocked him on the head which made him more perplexed, but without tears. I am not sure we'll go again for a few months.

The baby came and he is our joy!

I'd ike for you to meet Jude Edgar Putnam.

He arrived a while ago. April 18th to be exact. He was almost 9 lbs. Now he is even bigger, maybe 18 lbs. He is our joy.

He's huge. Loves to smile, talk, sit up and jump in the Johnny jumper.

We love this little guy.

Since he was born in April we've taken 2 vacations to Smith Mt. Lake, VA., moved from Maryland to Ohio, lived with the Byers, my parents and finally moved into a great townhouse in North Olmsted. It's been a whirlwind but now after 6 months of life with a baby I feel settled.

I am more in love with my husband now than ever before and my heart is full when I watch Jude smile and laugh with his dad.

Life is good and God is great!

Rounding the bend...

"Did you hear that the final four basket ball disappeared? I have no idea where it would be???" I joked this evening with JP about how my stomach looks like a big basketball.

Today marked week 39 of being pregnant. We are excited and perplexed as to what is to come. We've never gone through labor, had a baby, nor been parents before. So what do we expect? This was our dinner conversation tonight. So many changes that we cannot anticipate.

I think Spurgeon summarizes what we are anticipating...

"It is our Father's business to mark the future. Our eyes are dim.

We cannot see tomorrow. But our Father knows all about tomorrow,
and He will be ready for whatever happens.

Therefore, I will wait on Him. I raise no questions.

I expect great mercies. "

Great mercies it is. We'll keep you posted.

Here's the nursery. It might look like a walk in closet, don't be alarmed but it is.

Feeling like a whale!

After a long day of work on Saturday, I arrived home feeling extremely tired with a body that just hurt. I have heard that pregnancy does that, but that hadn't been my experience thus far. Up until now that is.

I told Jonathan that I felt like a whale and couldn't imagine getting bigger. He was so kind to say, "Well, if that is the case than you are a hot killer whale." I never knew such words could sound so sweet but they did. (FYI... That feeling past and I just feel prego again. :)

We are rounding the bend to being pregnant. I work until March 20th, which is 2 weeks away. We have been giving three due dates which means the baby could come in 2 weeks, 3 weeks and beyond. I'm still rooting for April Fools Day.

UPDATE ON JP: This past week was on evangelism and boy was JP excited! The students went out on their lunch breaks to talk with folks in the community about their worldview and their understanding of knowing Christ. As JP was talking with a college student about Christ, this guy started crying and said that the one question he wanted to ask God was "why it took so long to get his attention." This was only the beginning of the conversation. All week long JP and others had some very encouraging conversations that made us realize that the harvest is plentiful and people are eager to talk about Jesus. This week has really spurred me on to begin praying that God would show me opportunities to tell others of Him, to trust that He will open my mouth to share and give me courage to take a stand. I wonder what is going to happen this week. hmmm?

God is so good and we are so loved.

Signing off for some time.

PC CLass on Parenting

A few weeks ago, Jonathan was sitting in a week long class on Parenting (he took lots of notes :).

One thing that was really cool was watching God move in a special way. All week long the professor spoke of the beauty of having a family. And yet to one couple, our dear friends, it was a bittersweet week as they long to have a family but are still waiting.

Here is the amazing thing~ the class pitched in and gave them a generous gift to continue fertility treatments. Watch the video of Jonathan leading the class in the presentation of this gift.

http://www.youtube.com search Allen and Dannette

oh yeah, the couple had no idea this was happening. It was a surprise!

Overwhelmed by love

It is officially beginning to sink in after 8 months of pregnancy that WE are having a baby. It wasn't the bulging belly, the awkward sleeping positions, the heartburn, nor the fact that I have seen a midwife more than 10 times. Reality sunk in when I received a baby seat and stroller from my sister-in-law in the parking lot of Panera. I couldn't believe I was taking home a stroller and a car seat. This is when it all began.

Throughout this past weekend in Ohio, we were lavished with love, hugs, words of encouragement, and many many baby gifts. I am still in shock at the generosity of all of our family and friends. I was reflecting on the journey today with the Lord about how we have seen God deal so gently toward us through the entire process. We have wept many a tears and have had others weep with us. We have prayed many a prayers for a child and have had others pray for us, especially when the pain was too raw to ask for a child, you prayed. And now we have rejoiced in God's steadfast love and faithfulness to give us a child and you have rejoiced with us.

As I was sitting on my bed this morning viewing our 1 room shanty (executive style) covered with baby gifts, each with a face of the friend that gave it to us, tears were streaming down my face. Our room reflected LOVE and support from so many. I couldn't believe my eyes to see how much we are loved.

And then to top it off, we went to our doctor's appointment to hear the good news that our son's kidney's are functioning and the cyst on his brain has been dissolving. I was relieved and thankful that the Holy Spirit kept me from being anxious, it would have been a waste of time and energy.

We are loved!!! Thank you for walking this journey with us, both near and far.

Love,

Megan

Thoughts on the Righteousness of Christ~ Jonathan Putnam

Jonathan is my hero!

(picture of him studying at Panera)

He just finished his the 1st half of the Pastor's College. I am so proud of him. I have watched God give him strength, endurance, perseverance and a greater understanding of how awesome our God is. And I never heard him complain about how much he had to study. I have been amazed watching him from front row seats. I just got a hold of one of his essays that he had to turn in for his professor, Jerry Bridges. I was really impacted by it.

Thoughts on the Righteousness of Christ~ Jonathan Putnam

I was deeply impacted by the principle: “Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need for God’s grace” (Disciplines of Grace, 18). As I reflect on my journey as a believer, I recognize that I have lived many days in the two extremes of self-righteousness and despair: self-righteous when I thought I was doing well in the Christian life, and despair when I was reminded of my sinfulness.

For many years, my battle with one particular sin would determine my position on this spectrum. If I gave into temptation I would quickly find myself weighed down with despair believing that I was despicable to God. How could I approach him and ask for forgiveness—again? I would respond in various ways, all of which revealed that I believed my standing with God was completely dependent upon myself. Sometimes I would throw myself into the spiritual disciplines with renewed zeal believing that I must not be working hard enough. Sometimes I would become angry at God for commanding what I seemed incapable of obtaining. In anger I would either plunge myself into sin once again or numbly withdrawal from intimacy with the Lord by purposely avoiding time with him. On the other extreme, if I had successfully avoided this all-important sin for a lengthy period of time, I would become convinced that all was well between God and myself and self-righteously assume that I was now in a position to help others.

Both extremes, though different, share a common reliance on my own performance—either good or bad. Both extremes avoid depending fully on Christ’s righteousness for my standing before God rendering his righteousness experientially inconsequential. It is here that an understanding the imputed righteousness of Christ makes all the difference. If Christ is my righteousness then my standing before God is not dependent upon my performance. When I sin, his grace is strong enough to cover all of my sin. When I resist sin, it is his grace that has enabled me to do so, yet I remain a sinner who is still equally dependent upon him to cover my “socially acceptable” sins, many of which I may not even be aware of.

How do I go about applying this truth to my life? Reminding myself of this is essentially what it means to “preach the gospel to myself every day.” It is growing in the humility that rejects all my performance-- good and bad-- and chooses instead to stand upon the performance of Christ. On a “bad day” I must not discredit the grace of God by arrogantly believing my sins are too great to be forgiven. It is not glorifying to God to magnify my sin above his grace. On a “bad day” I must gaze at the holiness of God and be reminded once again how far I fall short. But instead of despairing at my revealed sin, I can run, once again, to the cross and be reminded that though my sins are far worse than I even realize, my standing with God is not based upon myself, but upon the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Every day was a “good day” for Christ and he lived for me.

Thankfulness

Thankful Thanksgiving 2009 List:

1. Getting to return to Ohio to see our friends and family! The brief moment was like a tease but gave us a glimpse into our hearts at how much we love our family, friends and church family!


2. Getting to see my sister Allison super pregnant! She was overdue with our first niece, Carleigh Grace, who finally arrived 4 days after we drove back to MD. I am so thankful that we both had the opportunity to be pregnant together!


3. We got a new car! God always seems to provide all of our needs, when we need it. We drove back to MD in a vehicle that does not have the "service engine" light on.


4. We were so thankful to come away from our break rested physically and relationally encouraged.

God saved you from being a "Feminist"

God has done much in my heart over the last few weeks. For months I have been wrestling with the role of woman. It started years ago with misunderstandings and sweeping assumptions that I was making that were not true. (I'll spare you the ugly details).

All of this came to a head in my life when I shared my life story with a friend. Her response was, "Wow, God really saved you from being a feminist." "A FEMINIST," I thought, "how dare she call me a feminist!" (disclaimer~ she wasn't calling me a feminist. But again I was making a sweeping assumption of what she meant. I see a pattern here.)

As a result of this conversation, I went home a little bit riled. Okay, really ticked off. But God has used it to bring clarity over all these issues and misunderstandings I have had been brewing about for the last few years. It was though He was asking me to lay aside all my "criticisms" and "sweeping assumptions of what wasn't said" and write down what I am passionate about and how I can use those passions for His glory. My entire perspective was changed. The light bulb went on.

God brought such clarity for me to do some specific things in this order~

1. To write down my understanding of Biblical Femininity, my passions for myself and other woman.


2. To search Scripture to see if my passions and understanding are aligned with God's Word as the ultimate authority.


3. To invite others to evaluate my passions and understanding of God's Word


4. To make corrections where I am wrong in my position


5. To ask my husband and others how I can serve our family and our church out of my passions for the glory of God.

All this to say, God has lifted a strong burden off of my chest that I need not carry, analyze and ponder anymore. The best part of all of this is that 4 days after the Feminist remark, the pastor taught on Proverbs 31. I heard firsthand from the pulpit God's desire to use woman for expanding His kingdom, through the family and community. I had a smirk on my face knowing that God really does care about me and wants to reveal Himself to me through issues like these.

So today I am off to make my list about the passions I have in serving our family and church.

Thank you Lord for bringing clarity to an area that has been so cloudy.

4 months pregnant

We are officially celebrating that I am 16 weeks pregnant. I am down to a few pair of jeans, maybe some dress pants and I gotta say, I love my workout clothes. Jonathan and I are laughing at my baby bump (well it's not really the baby). Let me explain, the bump used to hide under my pant line, it was all the extra coffee and pastries I ate last year at Starbucks. Now I can't really hide all that extra. The baby keeps getting bigger and pushes up my extra stash! It is hilarious and we both laugh.

I am feeling great!

This past week I have learned if I want to eliminate migraines and puking I need to ADD water to my diet. Jonathan was so kind to serve me one evening as I was constantly vomiting. He stopped studying to run to grocery store to buy Gatorade and chicken noodle soup. It was 11:45pm. He is the real hero of the story!

We are hoping to find out the sex of the baby closer to Thanksgiving. We'll let you know what we find out.

I attached 2 pictures for you. Please notice the night and day difference of my face and attitude. I was not getting my way and I wanted Jonathan to know it. I haven't seen that face caught on camera in a LONG time. You might hear me refer to myself as, "Pagan Megan" when I am gratifying my flesh rather than walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. We did resolve that quarrel and JP forgave me. I love that man!