Motherhood: a season of giving and receiving

I am a mother of 2 active little boys (age 4 and 20 months).  It is a very exhausting season yet full of life, energy and chaos.  I describe it as:  sleepless nights and early mornings, whiny children and lots of giggles, spills and messes, temper tantrums and full out anger explosions, tickles and giggles, pitter Pater of feet and random Cheerios on the floor, defiant attitudes and direct disobedience, kids music and the Wild Kratts, cold coffee never finished, running, jumping, and a sigh as I sit on the couch when the kids are finally asleep with a full heart of love for them.

The days are sometimes long but the weeks fly bye.  these little people are a lot of work and yet we long to have more of them. 

This has definitely been the hardest season of my life.  Probably because these little ones require constant giving of time, love, energy, correction, more love, grace, more tickles and lots of food. 

Today I read James 1 with the scope of motherhood in mind.  It sure was encouraging.

"Consider it PURE JOY, mothers of little ones, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you my be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of. You lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

My days are full of trials. I am in need of becoming mature in complete in love, patience, forgiveness, grace.  I am in need of God.  And that is what I found here. 

Joy in my trials of motherhood because as I humble myself under His guidance He will lead me. 

What hope in this season.  My new definition of Motherhood:  A season of constant giving yet a season of Constant receiving. 

Can't believe my lil man is turnin 2!

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Love this: God has good things in store

"How does God’s grace meet you in your sufferings?" David Powlison asks in his chapter:

"We can make the right answer sound old hat, but I guarantee this: God will surprise you. He will make you stop. You will struggle. He will bring you up short. You will hurt. He will take his time. You will grow in faith and in love. He will deeply delight you. You will find the process harder than you ever imagined – and better. Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life. No matter how many times you’ve heard it, no matter how long you’ve known it, no matter how well you can say it, God’s answer will come to mean something better than you could ever imagine."

A Day with my Family

Jonathan wanted to spend the day in Chagrin Falls. It was the best day to go. The leaves were changing colors, the air was warm and at times the sun peaked through. We strolled through some beautiful streets, passed the fire station where a wife stopped in to see her husband and all were loving on a little baby. We went to the park where Jude chased some geese. We ate a a small restaurant. And of course saw the falls. One of the funniest moments of the day was while we were sitting outside at a table for lunch. Jude was very stoic. Everyone was trying to get him to smile, to no avail. But alas, Jude spotted a 4 year old girl sitting next to him through a window. Instantly, Jude started smiling, waving, and blowing kisses. We just laughed. What a great day!

Lesson Learned

Just the other day, I learned a lesson. You see I wanted to take Jude to a playground. We got in the car and started our 15 minute ride to the best playground in the area. I even told him where we were going. However, he started to get impatient. He whined. He kicked. He whined some more. He forgot that good was in store. While listening to his whining, I realized that I am just like him.

I saw this verse on my dashboard: "I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. (the Lord)"

God has good in store for me. God's intention toward me are good. His plans for me are good. His love and care for me is good. He does not change, He is always good and His ways are always good.

However, I get impatient and whine and complain. Jude, well, he didn't learn this lesson this day, he whined until he saw the playground, then he squealed. For myself, I have been pondering on this thought since then. I just wondered what things are around the corner that God wants to give me? I can rest knowing that it will be good. I hope I squeal too!

Here she is.... our new home.

We are grateful to God for giving us such a nice home, well in our eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? We have received so much help in cleaning it up, replacing old for new. We can't believe it's ours. Here are some before and after shots: Our family room went from cream to grey.

Our Kitchen went from yellow cabinets and counters to black and green-like yellow:

There are so many more pics but I am losing interest in blogging.

Your Will be done, on earth as it is Heaven.

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend about the tension of asking God in faith for something very specific yet posturing your heart that "His will be done." Well, I find myself in the middle of that tension this morning.

You see, we put an offer in on a house that to me is my dream home. It is on the very street that we have said, "we want to live on this street." It has a screened in back porch, a beautiful yard, 4 bedrooms. And the updating are things that I can do... paint, scrub and change fixtures.

So we asked for God to provide this home. After hearing the owners response to our offer, it is hard for me to imagine that this is to be our home. While praying this morning I read "Not my will be done, but yours O Lord." I am feeling the tension of knowing that God could grant us favor and mercy by giving us this home. Yet on the flip side recognizing that He is the All Seeing One. He is in control and knows what is best in working out His plan for our lives.

This is a very hard place for me to be in. The tension is revealing to see what my heart wants to cling to more: my desires and dreams or the dreams of the King of Kings. You know best, Lord.